I should define the relationship l want……

I should define the relationship l want……

Who defines what love is, what a relationship should be like or whether what one does in a relationship is wrong. Is it society or God or whatever Supreme Being that one prays to? I believe that its time that we ourselves the one in that relationship we define it to how we want it to be and let the ship go to the course that we want.

I’m not a feminist, the type that believes that women can do without men, l don’t take away anything from their beliefs but l believe its high time women have power in their own relationships. Not the kind of power that leads up to abuse or manipulation but the kind of power that makes you define your relationship, that makes you the captain of your ship and stir the wheel to the course you want. The game of love can be played according to how us women want it. For example sex. A woman in a relationship when having sex her intention is to please her man so that he doesn’t find someone else to have sex with(even when we know that it’s impossible but we still believe) imagine when the woman has the power and sex is done to please her, l wonder how that will turn out

For so long us women, myself included have listened to society tell us how relationships ought to be, how to behave around your man or your husband and sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. I remember someone used to tell me a friend to everyone is a friend to no one meaning we can’t please everyone for they want different things and in the end you can’t please them all .so just be you, be the woman you were meant to be and be in control of how you define your relationship or where you want it to go.

The reason why l am saying this is because l realized from my previous relationships that l was the obedient type and my definition of a relationship and how it’s supposed to go was according to the parameters that society had set up for me. But that didn’t work so l decided that things should go according to how I want them to, after all, lm the one who is in the relationship and l know what l want to achieve or what lm investing in.

Women are strong, independent, can rule the world whilst multitasking and surely we can rule our hearts and relationships to how we want or suite our needs

So dare to be you.


Gracia Casandra



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