How to sustain your relationship

How to sustain your relationship

Dearest ladies there are few ingredients you need to add to your love life to keep it alive and this is not only for you girls out there dating but for you married ladies out there. There is a popular notion that love alone will not sustain a relationship. This is true and that’s the reason for a number of divorces out there and broken relationships. Before I share the ingredients with you please keep one thing in mind, you could do everything for a guy but remember a guy will only be kept if he wants to


Whether you are in a long distance relationship or if your boyfriend or husband is in close proximity, communication is key. For us, communication comes naturally because we tend to be the ones that talk more in a relationship.Communicate with your partner about your feelings don’t bottle things inside. Tell him how you feel about his behavior if he isn’t acting right, talk to him when you go on dates, don’t let the phone get in the way of human communication. For those in long distance relationships, keep the communication flowing, skype, and call as often as possible. Ladies spice up that relationship by sending him sweet, cute and sexy messages on his phone.

Keep the relationship on fire. Ladies communication also means you have to listen. Listen to your partner. Pay attention to not only what he says but how he says it or the way he acts because communication is not only verbal but physical as well. Before I led some of you on please remember to strike a balance. What I mean is communicate but don’t overdo it, give him time to miss you. Let him breathe, don’t overcrowd his space. Men are different from women.

Don’t call him ten times a day or overcrowd his space by always being at his house. He needs time to himself and with the guys. Give him the opportunity to miss you. Don’t get confused ladies, communicate with you man but don’t be a psychopath.


Dearest African woman, it is not sexy to be in your head wrap and pajamas at 3 in the afternoon. Don’t get too comfortable because you are now his wife or girlfriend. Please stay woke. Men are visual people which means they are attracted by what they see. I’m sure all of you have experienced men whistling at you when you wear that short dress or that top that shows cleavage, it’s all about the visuals.

With this in mind, ladies try your best to look good with what you have. Get your hair done and wear clean clothes that compliment your figure. For those that wear makeup, by all means, put it on. For those that don’t, it’s still good just make sure your look fresh. Develop a habit of looking good even before you are in a relationship. Do it for yourself and your man.

Ladies bath, please. I can’t stress this enough, love water and soap it’s your best friend. When you go out on dates or just out in general look your best always. Let him drool over you. African woman tore underwear is not sexy. How can you look good outside and have your insides in disorder? Try not to scare him by wearing such. Invest in sexy undergarments. Create a balance in your wardrobe between comfortable underwear and sexy underwear. You will feel confident and your men will appreciate this.


This is a very profound topic but for now, bear in mind that every man wants and needs sex. If you are in a relationship and your and not sexually active that’s still good but if you are you probably know by now how much this is a vital part of a relationship. Ladies men don’t want sex it’s a need and likewise for use affection is not a want but a need. There is nothing more important than sexual compatibility because it enables you to enjoy the experience more. With that said always be ready to pleasure your man.

Keep hygienic especially in the v area. Spice up your sex life by being creative. Try having sex in the weirdest places and not just the bed. Keep things interesting. Talk to your partner about what pleasures you and what pleasures him. Try different positions that work for both of you. Remember the key is to keep things exciting. For those with busy schedules from work, school or maybe kids, try to have quickies or visit your partner at the workplace for lunch and get it on in the office. African lady these are not things that are only done in movies, keep the love alive. Ladies don’t just wait for your man to get you in the mood for sex but take the wheel sometime. Men like that.


Ladies at some point you have to grow up. I don’t mean just physically but maturity. What you expect from a guy as you grow into a woman changes as you mature. It is vital for you and your partner to build each other in a relationship. No one is perfect in a relationship if you want things to work you have to change some behaviors to accommodate your partner’s needs. These are usually the bad traits we all have.

We are natural helpers to these men that’s why Adam needed Eve. God saw a reason. In the same manner, groom your men. You can’t let him go in public looking funny e.g. dirty shirts, missing buttons, dry lips, and the wrong dressing just to mention a few. For those who are not yet married occasionally telling him to wash his clothes or encouraging him to bath or to buy Vaseline for his lips makes a huge difference. It takes time but it will pay in the long run, he hears you and before you know it he will be in check.

ladies your man also needs encouragement, when he gets that promotion or passes that test tell him you are proud of him, for men it boosts his ego, he feels good. My dearest African woman learn to see beyond current situations. Your guy might not have a car now but in the next two years he could be bowling out in a new vehicle so as you use your discretion when it comes to dating also keep in mind that after a few years it could be you living the dream with that guy you have who doesn’t have all that money now. It’s about love after all and growth means watering each other when you have and when you don’t.

Let go of the past

Ladies let go of past baggage. Don’t let what happened in the past be the basis of how you see relationships. My dearest ladies men are not the same. If you keep on bumping into the same type of men you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are into and change the type of guys you date. Really think about it, you will find a pattern. I know not all of us are blessed early enough to find the guy for us hence we have to go through some lessons before we finally get with the right guy. Let go of the past hurts because if you carry that to the next relationship you will ruin a good thing. If you were comparing your ex to your current boyfriend, you need to stop. These are two different people. It’s even better for you to not get back into dating if you are not ready. Get over that past relationship first so that you don’t have ghosts haunting you in your next relationship.


Learn the art of minimalism, learn to do your things in silence ladies. I know as women we have a tendency of sharing with our girlfriends about our relationship problems and other areas like sex just to mention a few. The problem with being too open is that you allow people to plan your demise and also you give them a false image of reality. Let me give you an example. Let’s say your boyfriend or husband does the nicest things for you and you end up telling your girlfriends every little detail every time, the next thing that will happen is that you are planting the idea that your friend, who has a partner who doesn’t do all those things for them is mediocre.

The next thing that will happen is that your friends will want some of that good in your relationship and boom that’s how we have those stories of best friends who slept with their friend’s man. Ladies stay woke, not everything is meant to be shared it’s for you. When you talk to your friends be wise and use your discretion. Ladies also don’t go through your boyfriend’s phone especially when your relationship is not there yet. What happens if you find some things you don’t like? Or maybe you might assume the wrong thing, how will you explain that you were going through your man’s phone? Be wise ladies. Give your man healthy space, it will help your love life.


Dear ladies, there is no relationship without trust. The reason why other relationships have problems like a controlling partner is because of lack of trust and jealousy. Don’t get me wrong, jealousy is perfectly normal if you are in a relationship but how you act because of it makes the difference. Being jealous because your man is hanging out or talking to other women is normal for example it’s actually a bit sexy for other men but the difference comes when you obsess or try to control your man’s activities or who he interacts with.

He has no choice when it comes to environments like work, school or places he hangs out. What you have to do is trust that he loves you enough not to go overboard when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. If you obsess you seem insecure and that is a turn off for men, show that you do get jealous but show a level of confident sophistication, if he is normal in the head, he will get the hint when you are not in support of him doing a certain thing or talking to a certain person.

Compromise and sacrifice

It’s no secret that relationships need work, they are not all fun and games. There will be times where you will need to let go of things you are used to for the other person. There are times you will need to stop doing some things that your partner is not comfortable with like going out all the time. There will be times when the reality of life catches up and maybe then your man might not have some cash and you need to cover them. It happens, it’s reality. As a woman, you will find there are times where you have given and not always received. For those married, it means giving up certain luxuries to accommodate and adjust to your partner especially because you now live together. It’s about meeting halfway ladies.Please make sure you are not the only one compromising in your relationship, for things to work out. Compromise should come from both of you.

Be who you are

There is nothing more frustrating than being with a pretender or fake person in any kind of relationship. These people are annoying and if you do that every time you are in a relationship, you need to stop. The only way you will attract the man for you or make him for in love with you deeper is by being the true you. Imagine dating someone for months or even years only to discover one day that they are not who they say they are or even when they start showing their true colors. Be who you are and allow people to make the decision to love you for who you are or not. It’s better for a person to reject you because you are real than being fake to please the other .When you allow your partner to see who you really are they learn to also love your flaws and to also embrace them. Long lasting relationships or marriages are built also upon this foundation. By being you, you allow your loved one to love you just the way you are, so ladies be yourself and be in freedom in a relationship to express yourself.


Ladies you all know that no one is perfect including you reading this right now. We make mistakes, some big some small but at the end of the day we are all human including your man. The only way a relationship will last is if you learn to forgive. We can’t avoid the reality that these things happen and it is your duty to make sure that your heart is open. I know as women we measure the magnitude of how big a mistake your man makes like has he cheated, has he lied, does he have annoying behaviors just to mention a few.

I know most of us have gone through a cheating boyfriend or husband and have struggled to forgive especially when they came back and apologized. If you love your man, it is up to you to forgive because you love him. Be wise also to be able to determine if the mistakes being made are not a repeated behavior because then that would be them taking advantage of the situation because you are open. You can walk away from such a person and still forgive them yet still loving them from afar. When it comes to your relationship forgive, that’s how you move on and not dwell in the past, remember you also make mistakes and also need to be forgiven at some point.

Try to understand your man’s love language

Many of us don’t even know how to do this. Ladies let me tell you a little secret. Understanding your partner’s love language can only happen if you spend time with your man. When you do that try to observe him. Observe how he reacts to things. How he speaks and comments on things. Notice how you interact about different subjects. Find out what gets him excited and what worries him. Ladies what I’m trying to get you to know is how to fill your man’s love cup. The same applies for you.

Once you know what fills your love cup, you are able to tell or show your partner how he can fill it for you and likewise. Discover if he loves it when your compliment and praise him, or if he likes when you do acts of service for him like washing his clothes or if his a person who feels or enjoys touch or if his just a person who enjoys your attention and lastly if he feels love when you praise him for his accomplishments or when he does something for you. Try by all means to understand him so that he can also understand you and thereby sustaining your relationship.


Yeah I said it. You need prayer to make your marriage and relationships to work. All we ever do is pray about everything else forgetting this important ingredient. All good things come from the lord so why not pray for your boyfriend or husband. There is nothing more attractive than when your partner mentions you to the highest being there is. You need to be wise women ladies. God gives wisdom on how to keep your things together so why not pray to him? Thank God for the love you have in your life. Pray for those bad characters your partner has because if anyone can make a guy change it’s his creator, don’t get it twisted you can’t change a guy. Pray ladies pray!

In conclusion ladies, these are some of the key areas that you need to work on in order to maintain your relationship with the man that you love. Try your best and remember to be realistic as you find ways of improving these. Remember to water your man so that he can also water you. My beautiful queens, you deserve to be with a king and if his worth it, you will both be willing to put in the work.


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